And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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