she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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