I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
someone owes me an orgasm
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
