im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
