My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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