dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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