I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
