Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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