I wannas sexs uuuuu
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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