You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
