no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I will pee on everything he values.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
