The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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