Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
