Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
