i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
