I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize