Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
