Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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