Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Mom said you looked used
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
