how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
