Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
