Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
