She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
