I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize