It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize