I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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