Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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