just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Well I just put wine in my tea
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
PANTIES FOUND
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