How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
