My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
