just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
