You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
