I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Randomize
