Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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