i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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