My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
