i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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