We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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