people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
