soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
