she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
