I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
