your parents love me but you hate me
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
