I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
