i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
it's like iHOP with fire
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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