If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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