So drunk, too bad you don't want this
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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