Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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