Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
