I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
