I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
