I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
