More tranny stories later!
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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