ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize