Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
