Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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