:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
