Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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