Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
