the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
