Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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