I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
