I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
