I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
