I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I wish I could teleport
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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