I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
