I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
