This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
