why do cheetos always look like penises
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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