I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
