When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize