so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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