the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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