This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Pooping to opera.
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