I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize