Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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