Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We left an ass print on the piano.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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